Virtual Insanity

Kidnapping is the one profession that has gained unprecedentedly thanks to the phenomenon called Facebook. If I ever wanted to kidnap you – it would be easier than convincing Kim Kardashian to drop her clothes. No binoculars or phone tapping would be required. Your life is served on a platter in real time on Facebook :

Who you are romantically involved with, how you met, where you hang out on throwback Thursdays, what you ordered on Amazon, where you stay, what time you reached that club and finally- pictures of you posing with the same pout and hand on the hip from everywhere in the middle of traffic, to in front of mirrors at public bathrooms. Even though I accepted your friend request just to be polite, your life’s book is left wide open for me, your friends, friends of friends and the public at large. When I have guests over at home, I don’t necessarily throw open a photo album chronicling my life from the time I was a baby in diapers to last month’s vacation on the beach in a bikini… So why do that on Facebook? It’s like pissing in a public pool.

Yes, some people share pictures and experiences to spread the joy about enjoying a good life with loved ones; but there is this thing called Privacy. If and when I get married and have kids- you ain’t gonna know about that through the internet.  Either you see it in person or stay uninvited to the wedding and my actual real life!

While real life, face to face interactions can never be substituted by social clout scenes, one does subconsciously seek validation online from peers. This can be toxic because most of the self promotion is based in fickle, opportunistic selfies played out as Kodak moments and nothing more. Example being my own “friends” who wonderfully illustrate the disposability of friendship that has plagued my generation. The moment new happy mates are found, they automatically forget the old sad one- me. All they want is a posse of peers from both sexes to adorn their cover photos – a different gang for different occasions. #UseAndThrow

My social media handles do not expose details of my daily routine, love life, the contents of my stomach, where I work or what I do for a living. They do however flaunt #NowPlaying jams, casual celebrity crush of the week, op ed pieces I wish to share and my expert opinions on #Life. I use Twitter as a tool for self expression and both it and Facebook as portals into a rabbit hole of infinite information, education and exposure. Sure I fall prey to the narcissism and vanity of it all at times and indulge myself with a selfie here and a #hashtag there but it’s always garnished with that signature sarcasm and tongue in cheek.

Technology and social media is a cool thing and I dig it for sure. But we all need to practice some caution while we use it. Keep it in the family, keep it kosher and basically just keep it simple stupid. Don’t feed the stalkers, don’t embarrass your parents, don’t fool yourself, don’t pimp your pets, don’t show your underwear, don’t wash your dirty linen in public and most importantly DON’T SPAM MY NEWSFEED!

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